I Become Pumpgirl

You could express it this way: Tonight I ate dinner for the first time in almost 4 months without giving myself a shot.

Or this way: Tonight I went to bed for the first time in almost 4 months without giving myself a shot.

Or this way: I am Pumpgirl. Hear me beep!

It’s happened at last. I’m pumping. I’m a pumper. I pump. (Picture Bill Murray in “What about Bob?” as he braves the waves, bound hand and foot to the mast: “I’m sailing! I SAIL!!!” That’s me.)

It’s surprisingly difficult to put words to the moment, to tell the truth. The reason I’m trying to do so in the middle of the night is that I needed to wake up at 2 a.m. to test—the idea being that it would be good to know if my pump’s basal rate is sending me crashing into nighttime hypoglycemia, which I am pleased to report it is not—and I can’t go back to sleep for the life of me. I’m much too wound up. Everything is new again. Or newish. Still diabetes, of course, but with a twist. Like diet coke with lemon (semi-obscure cultural ref: this is how Marge Simpson describes kissing the Pie Man, who is of course Homer in his superhero costume).

Biggest Fear Unrealized: that I would feel, as articulated in somewhat mortifying detail below, not quite as feminine as I hope to. So far I actually feel—drumroll please—just as I did before. The set and the tubing aren’t gorgeous, it’s true, but they’re also not overwhelming in a visual sense. Nevertheless, I did stop at Global Village to buy myself a girlie (& pump-friendly) outfit on the way home from my pump start appointment. I also did my nails, LOL, which did not turn out well.

Second Biggest Fear Unrealized: that putting in the infusion set would hurt like heck. It actually felt just like a shot, one of the slightly-ouchier-than-average ones. For the technically curious, I’m using the QuickSet, 6 mm, 23 inches—I got a few samples from the CDE based on her thinking that I’m too skinny to be comfortable with the 9 mm. (My current supply from Minimed is 9 mm, which I may exchange, though I’ll probably try one when I change the set.)

Third Biggest Fear Unrealized: that I’d run low at night and not wake up. My sweetie called right on cue and talked to me while I did my test. Yay sweetie! I was at 90. Yay pump!

Biggest Fear Realized: that I wouldn’t be able to sleep. The darn pump-in-the-baby-sock contraption, currently pinned inside my nightshirt, is a bit annoying. The pump stretches out the sock and dangles down and flops around, for one thing. But that can be fixed by putting the pump in something less stretchy, such as the cute pump pockets I’ve seen online. Or I’ll try a nightshirt with a pocket & cut a hole on the inside for the tubing to run through. Actually I’m guessing the sleep problem is more emotional than physical tonight; I’ll just need to experiment with different ways of handling this.

Biggest Fears Untested (well, the rated-PG ones): Will I remember how to change the set? I’ve already gotten fuzzy on the details. Thank goodness there are videos on the online Pump School. How will I do at the business lunch I have to attend (why, oh why) later today? Also, will I retain poise in explaining the pump to coworkers? It’s not going to be visible, generally, but I know it will come up sooner or later. A topic for another post.

Thing I Haven’t Done Yet: picked the name. I need to spend a little more time with the pump first. I feel that the right name will soon become clear.

Rating for First 12 Hours of Pumping: 9.2 out of 10. It rocks. I’m so glad I did it.