Is That an Insulin Pump in Your Pocket, or…

…Are You Just Happy to Text Me?

(a play in three brief acts)


Dramatis Personae (in order of appearance)

Nellie: a purple Minimed Paradigm 515; successor to Charlotte

Dinner Companion: one of Violet’s recent one-date wonders

Violet: devoted owner of Nellie

Thanksgiving Ladies: Violet’s charming holiday hostess and her guests, each some thirty years Violet’s senior

Movie Companion: an entertainment-oriented version of Dinner Companion


Act I
Scene: a chic Italian restaurant in Chelsea, NYC

Nellie: Beep. [pause.] Beep. [pause] Beep.

Dinner Companion [slightly annoyed]: Texting?

Violet: Insulin.

Nellie: Beep.


Act II
Scene: a holiday meal at a beautiful colonial farmhouse in Orange, Connecticut

Nellie: Beep.

Thanksgiving Lady #1 [peering into Violet’s lap]: What is that thing?

Nellie: Beep. [pause] Beep.

Violet: It’s an insulin pump…

Nellie: Beep.

Violet: …for diabetes.

TL #2: Oh, I thought it was a cell phone!

TL #1: So did I.

TL #3: So did I!

TL #4: Is it all right that you’re eating pie, dear?


Act III
Scene: a movie theater in Gramercy

Movie Companion: [yawns, stretches, and casually drops arm around Violet. Very high school.]

Violet: (!)

Nellie: …

Movie Companion: [unintentionally gropes Nellie, who is clipped to Violet’s waist]

Violet: [face contorts as she suppresses urge to snort]

Movie Companion: …

Movie Companion: [removes arm from around Violet]

Nellie: Beep!