September 20, 2006

Change is complex, or, A conversation with my colon

Violet's colon: Rumble. Grumble.

Violet [concerned]: Everything OK down there?

V's C: Rumble. Rumble. Grumble.

V: Hmm. I sense a disturbance.

V's C: We are displeased.

V: We?

V's C: We do not like some of the gifts recently offered to us.

V: Us? What are you, a collective? Like the Borg?

V's C: We accept the offering of bread. The oatmeal we also accept. Meats and cheeses we acknowledge as appropriate gifts.

V: ...

V's C: But what is this thing called "fruit"?

V: Ohh. That. Right. Well, fruit is tasty and full of nutrients and fiber. It's good for us. Err, good for me.

V's C: We do not like this "fruit."

V: You'll get used to it. I promise.

V's C: It disturbs us. It causes distress.

V: Well, that's really my fault. You see, I didn't eat much fruit for a long time, so you got out of the habit of dealing with it, and now I'm trying to make changes--

V's C: Fruit is your fault?

V [alarmed]: Um--

V's C: We do not accept the gift of "fruit."

V: Well, you have to. It's your job.

V's C: Grumble. Rumble. Rumble.

V: Aww, come on. Fruit is Nature's Dessert!

V's C: WE DO NOT ACCEPT THE GIFT OF "FRUIT."

V: ...

V's C: GRUMBLE. RUMBLE. GRUMBLE!


And so the negotiations unfold. I guess this may complexify my recent interest in vegetarianism...

8 comments:

  1. LOL-- I'm lovin' the Borg reference.

    Stick to your guns, Violet-- fresh fruit is just too dang good!

    And hey, thanks for the very healthy, very hearty laugh before heading off to bed.

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  2. LMAO that was awesome. And Yes the Borg thing cracked me up too!

    Fruit Rocks! Mr. C will get with the program soon enough.

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  3. Ha! I didn't get the Borg reference (Star Trek?) but laughed at the displeasure of your grumpy colon. Maybe eat different kinds of fruit? Hope you're feeling better soon (and the colon starts getting used to fruit).

    (In a side reference, the password to leave a note here is ORINGZ. What kind of fruit did you have?)

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  4. I used to have this problem (though perhaps with less of an interesting dialogue) with berries more than other things...I think because they have more fiber. Try citrus and apples and such first maybe, if it's been berries that you've been eating.

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  5. I thought maybe your colon was playing Queen Victoria there for a minute.

    Funny stuff.

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  6. Dear Violet's Colon,

    Be nice. Violet is a good person - and she's nice enough to offer you a gift.

    Sincerely,
    Nicole

    I LOVED this entry! :)

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  7. I told you that you were creative! Who could possibly argue that point with a post like this?!

    Great post V! Very entertaining!

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  8. A conversation with your colon?!? Got a good laugh out of me!

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