January 8, 2006

Stree, or where I've been

1. Really tired. Tireder than tired. Grocery-shopping-leads-to-mandatory-napping tired. Missing-out-on-going-to-bookstore-with-Animegirl-because-too-tired tired.

2. Really sore. Freakishly sore in muscles not being used and some I didn’t know I had. Bizarrely sore in joints that don’t look swollen. Made sore by slicing chicken and by doing nothing at all. Sore enough to lose sleep, worsening #1.

3. Really fuzzy in the head. Unable to concentrate for large chunks of the day. Language-related cognitive errors, e.g., typing the wrong words in memos, such as publishing interesting when my brain was thinking publishing industry. Awkward lapses for an editor, these are.

4. Really anxious about the above, too focused on every bodily sensation. Doing my hypochondriac, excessive researching thing. Full of theories. Current frontrunner is fibromyalgia, which my mom has and which fits my current situation almost exactly in terms of symptoms.

5. Spinning wildly from #4 to an unknown future in which my hopes and plans for work and family are cast into doubt by yet another decline in health.

As all this has been going on for several weeks, I’ve broken down and sought medical intervention at last. Oh good, a new opportunity to be disdained and patronized by health-care professionals! Tuesday I’m seeing a rheumatologist. I can only hope this encounter will lead to numerous suspenseful bloodlettings, diagnostic screenings involving machinery, and multiple follow-up appointments before I’m told nothing is wrong me with

Whoops. I’ll leave that in as a demonstration of #3. Hell, at least I caught it before I hit the “publish” button. I know--everybody does stuff like that all the time. My brain just doesn’t feel like itself. Language is supposed to be my safe area.

Anyhoo…before I’m told nothing is wrong with me that a laboratory can find.

The idea that I may have another chronic medical problem is a little too much for me right now. Maybe it’s all stree. Whoops, I meant stress. Ahem. (What’s stree? Stress induced and/or experienced by a tree?) But I don’t think stress all by itself is supposed to effing hurt this much.

My current goal, energy permitting, is to detail Whatever May Come in the most sardonic possible tone for your amusement and mine. Oh, and to not be ill. That would be cool too.


  1. If it helps -- I've had chronic sleep deprivation with all of the sympthoms you've described.

    Basically for me, it takes a sleep pill of the right kind to get me out of the cycle.

    The not sleeping cycle for me is a lot like a sugar craving cycle is for me. Eat too much sugar, need more sugar...

    Don't sleep enough, then I can't sleep.

    And I'm the queen of sleep disorders :-)

  2. Thanks, Kathleen. Everyone I know with major sleep issues says the same thing: it's cyclical and you have to disrupt the cycle to fix it. I will discuss with Dr. Unknown tomorrow.

  3. If you didn't already have diabetes, I'd guess high blood sugar - but I'm sure you've ruled that out ;-) All of your symptoms describe how I felt pre-dx - isn't it odd how the same mix of symptoms can point to a range of different illnesses?

    Good luck, I hope you feel better and get some answers soon. Try not to stree too much ;-)

  4. I run the "what IF??" gamut often, when my bloodsugars are decent enough, yet I still feel like garbage. And fibromyalgia runs in my family, too, so I understand that very real, very close panic. I'm glad you're going to see a doctor and get some answers.

    True life application of "stree."

    Chris and I had to drag the Christmas tree out to the curb for disposal last week. But first we had to strip it of its decor. Those lights were tangled so vehemently in the branches that to release them caused intense tree stress.

  5. My hypochodriac self would tell you to get a pregnancy test. You pretty much described what I felt like at the start of my pregnancies.

    It's just a thought and I hope I didn't make you more nervous than you already are, but if it were me, I'd feel better if I ruled out that possibility.

  6. Best of luck to you. I hope they can at least give you an idea of what's going on and how to fix.

  7. I don't have magic words for you here, but wanted to say hang in there!

    I experienced a similar wave this past year, then was diagnosed as hypothyroid. Looked up the symptoms (fatigue, forgetfulness) and was like 'ahhhh maybe *that's* the problem.

    Hope it resolves quickly.

  8. Thanks, all of you. What wonderful folks surf the blogsphere.

    K: LMAO. I have the same sort of stree awaiting me this week. The poor tree already looks like it's been sitting on the curb for days.

    Shannon: definitely not preggers. Gosh, that would be interesting. But nope ;)

    Kassie: hmm, I am having much bloodwork being done, but I don't know if thyroid is on the list. I'll have to investigate.

    Thanks again, all of you.

  9. I'll be interested to see what your thyroid levels look like, too.

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