November 29, 2005

We interrupt this broadcast...

[Cue dramatic music. Flash obnoxious 24-hour news station logo.]

This is a special report.

[Flash logo: a wilted purple flower almost entirely smothered under a pile of white sugar]

Violet's Honeymoon: The Final Hours?

Ladies and gentlemen, when we last left Violet, she was happily scarfing oatmeal after a lengthy fast. Oatmeal is one of Violet's favorite foods. It has a low glycemic index and high fiber content. It's always been easy on her diabetes. And it makes her feel warm and squishy inside.

Violet had used approximately 10 blood glucose test strips already today, but there's no stopping this spunky patient when she gets going. Two hours after her meal, she faithfully tested again, confident that she would find herself between 120 and 160.

[Cue dramatic music: DUM DA DUM!!!]

[Close-up on BG meter with numbers reading: 346]

Three hundred forty-six! Clearly a testing error. Violet tried again.

[Cue dramatic music: DUM DA DUM DUM!!!!!]

[C/U on meter with numbers reading: 367]

Three hundred sixty-seven! What could this mean? A forgotten bolus? No, Violet's pump indicated the oatmeal bolus had gone through without trouble.

A bubble in the pump tubing? No, Violet checked for bubbles when she began her fasting test. And she'd only used a few units of insulin since then.

A bad set? No, the current set had been working fine since Saturday evening.

An old set? Not really: Violet always goes 3 full days with her sets without running high.

Old insulin? On the contrary, a brand-new bottle.

Miscounted carbs? Upon recount, Violet could not find an error.

Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm and stay near your television. It is possible that Violet's honeymoon has taken a dramatic turn for the worse. We will continue to update you as more information becomes available.

This has been a special report on...

[Cue mournful music, show logo]

Violet's Honeymoon: The Final Hours?

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