[Insert arse-related pun here]

I know that deep in your gentle diabetic hearts, what you guys have really been missing since I went offline is further discussion of the relationship between Charlotte and my butt.

Admit it!

Never let it be said that I’ve disappointed a hopeful readership.

Context: During my sojourn outside cyberspace, I got to set change #10. (Woo hoo! Double digits!) Each spot where I place the infusion set, according to my CDE, should ideally have 30 days to heal before I reuse it—

Wait. Reuse? I am reusing myself?

Deep breath. Repeat: I am a woman, not a receptacle for a medical device. I am a woman, not a receptacle for a medical device.

OK. Let me try that again.

Each spot, according to my CDE, should ideally have 30 days to heal before I revisit (ah, better) that location to prevent the buildup of scar tissue. Since I change sets about every 3 days, I need 10 sites to allow for the healing.

Well, I did the ring around the belly button (6, but 1 was the gusher and therefore gave me 3 seconds rather than 3 days but still (I assumed) needed time to heal) and then the squishy above-the-hip love handle spots (2) and then some random sites between the love handles and the belly button ring (2). And that was it. Nine usable sites and I had nowhere else to go.

There are the legs, but I keep hearing that absorption is not as good from the legs—except when one exercises, at which time it can be all TOO good. Hmm. Which to sacrifice: good control or the butt? Control or butt?

I chose the butt. Ow. Ow. OW. I was right, damn it, it DOES hurt more there. (Jeff, maybe your butt has toughened up from years of this kind of abuse???) I tend to have about 2 minutes of stinging at a new tummy site, usually very mild. But this time I felt like a wasp had had its way with my poor hinder. For 3 minutes at least. Three!!! Ow.

And then I was fine. And the set turned out to be perfectly comfortable. And I got the same control as usual. And I felt like a major whiner—until I discovered that more than half my wardrobe is incompatible with the butt site because it SHOWS through soft fabrics. And then I felt like…well…a receptacle for a medical device.

I’m back to the belly.