April 15, 2008


Whoa, Violet. Interesting last post there. Dark much?

Okay, here’s my excuse. The path to the light must traverse the darkness. Right? Right?

And, uh, there’s no way out but through. Yeah. That.

Actually, I do believe those things, though I certainly wasn’t thinking about them when I wrote Grim Post. Sunrise dispels the night, though, whether the night intends to be dispelled or not. Holding up my junk to the light is a good way to, at the very least, see it a bit more clearly.

What I see is that I’ve gotten stuck. I knew that already, but wow. When I reread that post, I *know* it, in that deep-in-the-bones kind of way.

What I feel, rereading that post, is that I’d like to unstick myself.

I would?

Yeah. Reasons for unsticking abound, as a matter of fact.

Aha. Going to the endo because I want to is much, much different than going to the endo because I’m supposed to, or because I’m afraid, or because I feel guilty, or because Mrs. Violet is chastising me about it. I can handle going to the endo because I want to--much as I just handled eating two scoops of ice cream because I wanted to. (Peanut butter & chocolate and mint chocolate chip. I regret nothing.)

So. I’ll go. Meemeep will go with me. We will report back.


  1. Hello V--it's the other V. I'm happy to be able to read your blog again. I like Meemeep.

  2. This, from your previous post:

    "how could it possibly be only 3.5 years as opposed to, say, 35"

    stopped me in my tracks.

    I feel the same, and can understand why you'd want (and really, need) to turn your back on this thing for a while.

    (If it were my diabetes, and not my son's, I think I would have done the same.)

    Getting unstuck is hard, but I know you can do this.

  3. Yes, It's right that the path to the light must traverse the darkness. As the sunrise dispels the night, we need something clear. Thanks for this posting.
    First Signs of Diabetes