An unsent letter from Medtronic Customer Service

Dear Valued Customer Violet:

Thanks for your recent order of lifesaving medical supplies. In filling your order, we noticed that payments on your account have fallen behind.

We understand that many people have times of financial difficulty. Heck, we aren’t perfect either! We remember those minor and major inconveniences we’ve caused you in the past. For example:

Sometimes we’ve sent supplies to your home address instead of your work address, despite your request for the latter. And one time we sent them to your old work address—you know, the one that’s halfway across the country from your current one! Sorry about that. When you have as many customers as we do, this kind of stuff gets hard to keep track of.

We also remember the time our accounting department mysteriously set up a second account in your name and started double-billing you on your pump payments. Good thing you gave us a call before we put that extra account into collections! Seriously, though, that one was definitely our bad.

Then there's the undeniable fact that not one but two of your pumps have broken during your three years as a Medtronic customer. (Please accept our condolences on the recent demise of Nellie.) That’s an unfortunate failure rate, to say the least. We’re as glad as you are that you still have one year left on your warranty! Better luck with pump #3.

You’ve been very understanding about these bumps on the road of your diabetes management. That’s why we’re writing to reassure you that even though you owe us several hundred dollars--a significant amount of money to company with $13 billion in sales in 2007--we would never dream of freezing your account and refusing to send you supplies. In particular, we would never, ever tell you that your lifesaving medical supplies are on the way and then freeze your account without informing you for, say, ten days or so. After all, that could put your health at risk! And that’s just not what we’re about here at Medtronic.

So how about it, Violet? Could we set up a payment plan?

Yours in healthful solidarity,

Medtronic Customer Service
Your Partner in Diabetes Care